These guys are asses! – I hate these little faygs! I can totally tell that they google themselves just by looking at them- so Iwant to tell you little faygs that I think you guys are dooshbags and no halfway decent girl- in their right mind would ever have sex with you. ok- go fuck yourself.
mariah carey sucks
Hey C’mon Mariah- clean it up! You know thats not appropriate for the office!
Anyway- here’s something that will scare you retarded. I actually met the devil earlier today. He called me up to say that he was in the area and kindly asked if he could stop by to maybe put a name with a face. He said- the reason for my phone call- I’m currently working with pitchforkmedia.com, dlisted, perez hIlton and blah blah blah to help them identify sources for blah blah blah, and grow their business through News, Data and Analytics- helping them to overall maintain their competitive advantage in the blogosphere and internet space. He then asked me if, “that is something that you think you could maybe want to be interested in- does that interest you? Do you think that is something that you think that you maybe want to get- perhaps involved in?”, he said and then he just miraculously appeared in my office. Anyway- I gotta say- he’s really not such a bad guy at all. He really isn’t. He was impecably dressed and spoke with a sexy british accesnt. He kind of reminded me of my old boss. I actually kind of like him. Hell – I actually liked my boss- until the bastard fired me for no reason. It actually turns out that the 2 of them are really good friends and have been for over 900 years. Maybe I can leverage that to get my job back. Let bigones be bisexual. Anyway- where was I going with this? Oh yes- when Lucas showed up. (that’s the name he goes by now- Lucipher is so antique sounding). when he showed up- he told me that he got a hold of my google analytics data- and saw that I am getting like a gazillion hits every day- for writing about stupid shit like this. I’m like- I know- seriously- you need to step it up in Hollywood there Lucas- I only update this shit like once a month. People are starving for entertainment. Then I found myself kind of busting his balls in a totally weirdout way- like a happy hour patron whatevs- Again he wasnt such a bad guy. Cut to the chace- like Constantin- Lucas is a bidnissman and certain people owe him money. Evidently Mariah Carey has been taking years of pergatory off of everyones life- as she has overstayed her purchased stay. As a result- third parties- that get kicked in the nuts everythime they hear her are rewarded years off of pergatory, because she has overstayed her 15 minutes.
Lucas told me that Mariah is now supposed to be in Hell with Bell, Biv and Devoe, the little bastards in ABC- another bad creation, immature, Kris Kross and Humpty Dumpty. Never the less- the stupid slut somehow- through her Ricky Bevins (Biv 10) connection blew her way into boys to men- (which on a side note- were last seen, reportedly, at the Kentucky Derby with Nick Lachey. Nick Lachey, was able to pull out his 98 degree trump card by not only marrying Jessica Simpson, but divorcing her as well- causing her to go manic depressive and prescribed medication- which made her fat- which in turn- sent her whole entire career to Hell. Boys to men- are in the clear, becasue their frines with Will Smith). Anyway- Mariah has over stayed her 15 minutes.
Lucas called me of all people, because he needed a favor and seeing that I only update this site like once a month or something and I get like 1,000 hits a day regardless- he felt that my readership could pass the following word along.
Alright alright Lucas- enough already! get the pitchfork out of my ass- I’m ticklesh! giggle giggle-
Mariah- I just talked to Satan- evidently your 15 minutes are up. ahh HAWT!!!!
Oh by the way- we won’t miss you, but I’m sure you’ll show up on a half and half milk carton- SKANK!!!!
2. “Z-list celebrities” or “nonebrities” who have done nothing to warrant their newfound fame.
Come on really do the bitches from the real housewives have any more money than the rest of us. Whoa! 3rd avenue highrise. Give me a fucking break.. When your 50 years old, live in New York and don’t live mediocre- your doing something wrong anyways. And yes- I am saying these bitches are mediocre.
Irene McGee, a castmember on the 1998 The Real World Seattle, has done public speaking tours about the negative and misleading aspects of reality TV. To that zi say mve on- get a fucking life.
In competition-based programs such as Big Brother and Survivor, and other special living environment shows like The Real World, the producers design the format of the show and control the day-to-day activities and the environment, creating a completely fabricated world in which the competition plays out. Producers specifically select the participants and use carefully designed scenarios, challenges, events, and settings to encourage particular behaviors and conflicts.
In 2004, VH1 aired a program called Reality TV Secrets Revealed detailed various misleading tricks of reality TV producers. Various reality shows have admittedly combined audio and video from different times, or from different sets of footage, to create an artificial illusion of time chronology that did not occur, and a misportrayal of participant behaviors and actions.
According to VH1’s Reality TV Secrets Revealed, the shows The Restaurant and Survivor had at times recreated incidents that had actually occurred but were not properly recorded by cameras to the required technical standard, or had not been recorded at all. In order to get the footage, the event was restaged for the cameras.
Reality television shows have faced speculation that the participants themselves are involved in fakery, acting out. Some participants of reality shows have also stated afterwards that they altered their behavior to appear more crazy or emotional in order to get more camera time.
David Blaine should use his magic to turn himself into a rabbit. Thats what I would do if I were a Mexican.
Now that I think about it- Mexicans and rabbits are a lot alike.
They reproduce at alarmingly high rates, they don’t speak English, they hop around when they walk, they’re not potty trained, they wind up on your side of the fence- bluh blah blah blah- uh huh…
He’s not Mexican is he?
The sales help at the apple store sucks! Primarily this little bld fuckin guy from shitally. what a douchebag. Seriously can someone fill me in as to why this is and how these people got hired? Seriously- because I asked Apple Care a few times and they- like the Service Geniuses- have no idea what their purpose is.
With the Asian kid that sold me my imac last year (at the 57th and 5th ave location specifically) being the exception- every other sales person I have dealt with (at the SoHo location specifically) has been a total asshole! First off- going to the Apple store to begin with- especially in New york- fucking sucks to begin with. After all- you have a whole lot of people in there just fucking off and not buying anything. Perhaps the sales staff are really just crowd control which is why I purchased my Imac pro on line.
Of course the alternative would be to not buy Apple products, but this has nothing to do with the superiority of Apple’s products- just the lackluster sales staff at the Mac store- mainly in SoHo.
For example- I had a problem with my overall system performance. In an effort to fix the situation- I went to the mac store to see if there were any software features they could recommend via open source to speed up the system. Of course I had empied out the cache files on a regular basis, however- what I didn’t know at the time that you can empty your browsers cache files in the following ways- in addition to the browser. This as a result speeds up the overall system- yielding a more out of the box high speed experience. This is how you do that.
1. click on your finder- or anywhere on the desk top so the main tool bar is the tool bar for the finder window. thenso your tool bar is the tool bar for the finder option. then go to the go tap- scroll down to your computer- or HD section- go into to library- scroll to cace files- clear those.
2. Do the same thing again, but this time look for the little house option- it will probably have your name labeling it. do the same thing- look for library- look for caches- delete those. then look for the system files in either- find the caches- and delete those.
3. empty out the trash- but don’t empty the trash by right clicking. instead- select trash by clicking once- go to finder- file- secure emty trash. this will clear them from your system.
this will make your mac go faster.
Pretty simple- and a hell of a lot less time consuming than dealing with the douche bag sales guys at the mac store. COnversely- they tried to up sell me on purchasing a terabyte hard drive as a a backup solution and 1 to 1 apple support for an extra 100 dollars.
thats bullshit. Further more- the ones I have dealt with- in soho anyway- really didn’t know their product- they were just there either for crowd control or to make a commissioned sale. that is the impression I got and left with like many other people I have spoken with that have had similar experiences at that store.
fuck its not loading- ill get back to it, take my word for it. i guess your going to have to.
When it comes to Dooshbags- David Hasselhoff is the king of Doucheland- an actual city in Germany where he reigns as King. I say this first hand a couple of times. One time in particular was at TAO- a cheesy clubish Pan Asian fusion type establishment in Midtown. At the time I was dating this girl that had distant relatives in town visiting from Germany and the guy, Ralph- his name was- spotted Hasselhoff at the table behind me and flipped out. Not really a big deal, but this was like two minutes after he tried to get Michael Jordan’s autograph- which wasn’t Jordan at all, but instead- just a random black guy that had little resemblance to Jordan at all other than the fact that he was bald and tall. Never the less- I did have a nice chuckle to myself as this guy asked the man for his autograph. I then made eye contact with the Jordan- ‘not at all’ look alike- making the “I don’t know- what the fuck connection?” as we both laughed. Then Ralph thought he spotted Hasselhoff. I assured him that it was- as I did with Michael Jordan and then asked them why they like David Hasselhoff so much, because he sucks.
Anyway- I wound up getting into it with a couple of Germans over this very topic several months prior at a bar in hells kitchen. Cut to the chase- I asked them why ‘they’ (Germans) like David Hasselhoff so much- in general. They denied it. I told them that most Germans do- though. Hasselhoff was there when the Wall came down. They said that they didn’t like him- so I’m like yeah I know you guys do and he fucking sucks! They were like no dude- we don’t really give a shit about that guy at all.
Then I noticed the one German guy had a giant Mickey Mouse on the back of his denim jacket. So I’m like, “Ha Ha- you have Mickey Mouse on the back of your jacket! Ha ha – what are you like five?” Then I asked him if he was a foreign exchange student and told them about this foreign exchange student my buddy Danny at his house for an entire summer in Buffalo. His name was Thurston, but we called him Thirsty. I then started telling them how hard Thirsty sucked at basketball and how funny he looked dribbling the ball with both hands in his magnum PI shorts. God bless that- the goofy bastard. He spent most of the time in the house glued to the TV- in his glory. To be nice- we rented him all different kinds of videos- like nightrider, bay watch and the Muppets. We also gave him ice cream on occasion. Then I’m like- “dude you guys love David Hasselhoff- that is so gay!” Ha ha.
Then my brother came back he wound up getting into it as well. Both my brother and I took German in school for a while and went over there for a few weeks. My brother taught himself how to speak with a funny little German accent. So I’m like, “Bri these guys! Hey do your German accent- say sailboat!” so he’s like, “sahh- boat.” That’s fucking hilarious by the way. So I’m like pissing myself as my brother is whispering “sah boat- to them over and over again. Then I got hit. So to make a short story long- we wound up getting in this big fight.
As I’m telling this- I noticed everyone else in my party was getting a little weirded out.
I eventually turned around- and it was indeed David Hasselhoff- gesticulating like an obnoxious idiot. Other than that- I don’t know much about David Hasselhoff- other than that the fact that he sucks and eats hamburgers on the floor.
Anyway- back to that chink- I mean chick I was dating. This one time she had her relatives in for a visit from Germany. That were really nice- and we wound up hanging out with them for an entire weekend. The guy Ralph- walked around freely in his burgundy colored tighty whiteys- which was a little strange, but all in all- they were really nice people. One of the nights on their visit- we took them to TAO and out of the clear blue- Ralphs face lit up in astonishment as he thought he saw Michael Jordan. He goes, “ Hey vas dat un guy over there Michael Jordan? I looked over and it was really just some tall black guy that looked absolutely nothing like Michael Jordan at all. Then a few minutes later his eyes lit up again and he asked me if another guy was David Hasselhoff. So, I said “Yes Ralph- that is David Hasselhoff.” He couldn’t believe it. I never saw somebody appear so astonished or regard another human being with such laconic type status. I’m sure this was the high point of Ralph’s life.
I then asked the couple why German’s love David Hasselhoff so much in general. He said that they don’t. I told them that I knew that already, but most do and then proceeded to go into this story about these Germans I met one time in Hells kitchen that didn’t like David Hasselhoff.
